Rockvale TN, Late January, 2012 – Well, it's come down to it. After at least five tours where faithful redheads have been disappointed when I didn't have anything new to sell them, finally the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter's aligned with Mars figuratively speaking anyhow, and it's time to make another record.
Oh, Boy, you say. Well, me, too. But it's a lot of bother nonetheless.
A lot of bother, you say, sit around on your ass and play guitar, bother? Yes, ah, but if I could just float around up here on whatever plane you think I live, it would be that simple. Complaining. I'm the Andy Rooney of Americana...though let's face it only Andy Rooney is Andy Rooney. Do you think that Mickey Rooney + Andy Hardy equals Andy Rooney? Teleologically I mean. What does teleologically mean, anyway? And then there's life.
So far I've had requests for songs about: a)critters, b)florida songs,c)more screamers, d)no screamers, okay maybe only a token screamer e)that song you did back in 1968 that had a girl in it, and f)etc. Anybody out there do lasik in their garage in their spare time? I really hate my glasses. Can't tell the commas from the periods, or full stops, as our cousins in the You Kay calls 'em. Probably should just clean my screen (“Here partner, have a shot of this. It'll clean yer screen.”). They should make them bigger, though. Guess I'll change fonts. Scuse me while I kiss the sky...
nah that's not it...
There. Ooh, ugly, though...howdis?
Constantia. Hmmm. Just not official enough gotta be hey this is all right. See that period big as life. Comma, too.
I been thinkin bout rocknroll cadences, you know turnarounds, that are welded to the subtext of rocknroll. You know that Leslie Gore record It's My Party has that ending bumpbumpbumpbumbumpbumbum...seven eighth notes starting on the up of 1: and2and3and4and.....that one. Welded to the couture, if I may. Light your cigarette? “Oui, ma'amzel will want for nozing...” Drivel, that last. Just ignore.
Now I know that sampling has been done to death as a musical topic it's a dead nag, it's far from anything courant. Of course, Dahling whatever pleases you. But I have been thinking about it and intellectual copyright and stuff and wondering what teleological means.
Little Peggy March's I Will Follow Him's melody is perfect Oriental pop. Total pentatonic. You could arrange it and get a bunch of violinists to play it and call it the State Orchestra of San Francisco, have a little Chinese American girl be singin'...I see millions. You're welcome to the idea. I'll have another one here in a minute now. Talk's cheap. Let's talk tomorrow.
Anyway, another record or rekkid, as the Aussies say. What to do, what to do... Vegetarian Blues.
There's a lot of vegetarians out there, many of them cattle. Lotsa folks think us big recording artists don't have any down to earth problems like “your yard's getting' too tall”, but I gotta tell ya, we do. And then there are the teleological conferences...
Apparently there are two types of teleology: extrinsic finality and intrinsic finality. The concept of finality seems to play a big part in teleology, but basically it seems to me to be a kind of cause/effect, means-and-end situation, the extrinsic/intrinsic differentiations coming into play depending upon the relationship to each other of cause and effect or means and end. I could say more but it would just be more stuff I got off wikipedia, the sum of human knowledge available to all humanity. Glorious.
You know you're a hillbilly when your dog goes off and encounters a skunk and comes home smelling better than when she left.
Blues? Country? One guitar? Twenty? Never done or Done to death? How many units will it take to perfectly balance a beam with a weight on one end and helium on the other? New songs? Old songs? Center of Gravity. Law of Averages. Pivotal Point.
And what about that capital “A” next to the Capslock Key” A hundred tines a day I'm just flyin along and go to type 'A' and hit that capslock key and suddenly I'M SHOUTING,
I prefer the caps lock key be off to the side maybe in its own little keyboard.
COMES TO ME AND YOU PROBABLY ALREADY KNOW THAT "SEE RUBY FALLS" IS ONE OF THE MOST ATTEMPTED AND ALWAYS FAILED COUNTRY SONG TITLES EVER. I MEAN, EVERYBODY'S TRIED TO WRITE 'SEE RUBY FALLS' FROM WILLIE NELSON TO PANAMA RED THAT BIG AND CERTAINLY BROAD AND GULFLIKE SPAN OF TALENT WITH ME ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE BELL CURVE IN THIS CASE, BUT NOBODY'S EVER BEEN ABLE TO WRITE 'SEE RUBY FALLS.' IT JUST CAN'T BE DONE. YOU HEAR GUYS ALL THE TIME SAY, “WELL, I WROTE IT”, AND THEN YOU SAY LET'S HEAR IT AN THEY GET ALL FLUSTERED BECAUSE THEY KNOW THEIR 'SEE RUBY FALLS' SUCKS, TOO.
HELL, I BETCHA BILLY JOE SHAVER HAS TRIED TO WRITE 'SEE RUBY FALLS' AND HE HAS HIT THE SAME WALL.
What is it? “See Ruby Falls” is the Holy Grail of country songwriting. I mean I could go on and on if I had a Ph.D instead of those survey courses from nine different institutes of higher learning, and it would mean something. But I bounce off...
So I'm a little scared, you know? I mean what's it all about, Alfie? Make a record, big deal, little deal, no deal at all. We could interject some Ecclesiastes here and talk about vanity but I thought I had done this years ago. That's not it, really. It's just that if I'm going to sell something, it oughta be something that I feel. That I believe in and that I can believe I'll still believe in five years from now.
No bluegrass fer the sake of...because, let's face it, I ain't never gonna be no authority there, so if something mountain that I play sounds bluegrass-y, not much I can do about that. Just not as an excuse for a mandolin. No bullshit. Never.
I've even run through the chords to Stella Blue. But let's face it, I'd much rather hear Jerry do it, too. Although, musically it qualifies as more than just good. And maybe doing Stella is not a bad idea. I'd have to get beyond the effrontery of such a thing. Probably oughta meditate on that one. Big problem at Big Sur.
Now I realize as I sit here typing and trying desperately to avoid the CapsLock key, not to mention the nuts and bolts of songwriting, that this is all just the ramblings of a guy entering into the first or final stages of senility, I'm not sure which.
I'll see what I can do. Buy the record. It's gonna get made fersure.