- Essays: On The Road (And A Little Off)


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One State, Two State
Red State, Blue State

Jun 30 -- Today we acquired new livestock in the person of a guinea pig named Fishy and I got dragged out to meet the local Democratic Party candidates here in Rutherford County. It's gotten so that the word "Democrat" has developed a pretty fishy odor itself, what with the Repugnicans setting the agenda for whatever's going on…changing the Constitution so that burning the American flag is a crime, for instance, because heaven forfend they should have to actually debate some useful legislation.

I wore one of the "Disco Still Sucks" T-shirts and when the candidate for County Mayor said it was a sentiment he could agree with, I made the true observation that the advent of Disco in the early 80s almost precisely coincided with the rise of the Republican Party in its current odious form. Like a true Democrat, he said, "well, I wouldn't go that far…" It reminded me of John Kerry describing George W. Bush as a good man, but misguided. All he had to say was "the guy's a crook and we can prove it" and he would have had the election in the bag. The Republicans can always count on Democrats to be polite rather than political.

But I really miss the Democrats I used to know, like my grandmother, a real FDR type Democrat. I'd like somebody to say "Health Care for All", instead of "Universal One Payer System".
But nobody will because they might offend the centrists. The problem is that we no longer HAVE a left wing in U.S. politics, even though there are an awful lot of us near-wobblies out here. Nobody out there saying anything I want to hear.

Remember 50% of the population is dumber than average, and Christians are only interested in the Old Testament, no matter what they say to the contrary.

There was a pretty good band, knew a bunch of Merle Haggard songs, always good at a Democratic thang, so we hung around with the rank and file for a while, but pretty soon the Cadillacs started showing up and we had to go. Nothing worse than a mover and shaker Democrat.

Buy my new bumper sticker, or make your own:


And also, we rented a DVD called "Schultze Gets the Blues", about a retired miner accordionist from Germany who used to play polkas but then discovers zydeco. It's a sweet little movie, even if they did shoot it with only one camera. It's in German with English subtitles, and I'm proud to report that, watching it with my nine-year-old granddaughter I had to define the "N" word for her. So I guess we're doing all right in the Liberal Education department around the Rancho Tedioso.

Ask your Democratic candidates what they think of having a National Railroad. I promise there are no talking points there in either party.